Should I leave a partner I lived with for 3 years who loves me and stay on my own hoping to be with another?
Feb 11th, 2010 by admin
I am with this guy (I will call him American Guy) since 2006 and after some dating, I decided to move from Italy to the US to live with him at the end of 2006. Now I am allowed to be in the US because I am an international student at the college and I just got into junior classes.
These are the problems:
1) We barely have sex since the first time we have been together.
2) I cannot work because I am an international student, and I’m paying tuition thanks to my parents money. I use my partner’s car and he pays for rent.
3) I promised him I would take care of him as soon as I will be done with my CPA certification by approximately the end of 2011
4) He loves me to death even though we don’t have sex. He plans for a future move to Europe where we would buy a bed and breakfast using my parent’s money. He doesn’t have much money, but that’s what I like about him because I want to build something that can last a lifetime with someone.
5) I am not sure whether I love him. I met him as soon as I was left by a Polish guy. I tried to do anything in order to find a job and a house for Polish Guy in Italy, but since he did not speak Italian very well, he never really found a job. He only wanted to be a hotel receptionist though. Me and American Guy talked on the phone for 7 months until he made me go through my heartbreak. The problem is that I only went through my heartbreak one year ago (which is two years after we dated), waking up one day and finding myself in American Guy’s home.
6) Now there is another guy (Texan Guy). He’s the most wonderful person in the world, and I cheated on American Guy with him. I know it’s very sad, but it just happened. He wrote "I am not sure where things are headed! But I can tell you that either way I would like for you to be a part of my life." He means either as a friend or a boyfriend. He seriously messed with my mind. I can’t stop thinking of Texan Guy, and he’s making me feel alive all over again. I have never felt like this with American Guy. But I know that if I leave American Guy, I will have to start buying my own car and pay for rent. I also keep thinking that American Guy loves me to death and I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t think he deserves such a treatment from me.
Should I keep staying with American Guy or Texan Guy? In other words, should I think for myself or for American Guy’s goodness?
Stop moving from one man to the next and being a sponge. Everything you do he pays for, and all of your plans are supported by your parents money. Leave your American guy as your clearly only with him for his financial support, and go be on your own till you figure out who you are and what you want. Stop moving from one guy to the next. Your clearly confused and need to sort this out before you get into any more relationships.
The heart wants what it wants. I think you owe American guy a hell of an explanation though if you do go with Texan guy. Just…wowzers.
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Your a cheat – you don’t deserve our sympathy or our help.
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Stop moving from one man to the next and being a sponge. Everything you do he pays for, and all of your plans are supported by your parents money. Leave your American guy as your clearly only with him for his financial support, and go be on your own till you figure out who you are and what you want. Stop moving from one guy to the next. Your clearly confused and need to sort this out before you get into any more relationships.
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You’re using him,he deserves someone who will love and respect him- that’s not you.You don’t deserve someone as nice as he seems – go to the Texan Guy.You’ve already cheated and will do again – just go.
Poor American Guy falling for someone like you =(
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"Should" is a dangerous word. Think about what you want and need. Then, figure out how you’re going to arrange things to meet thoese wants and needs with minimal harm to the other people. Be totally honest with yourself first.
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I think you know the answer in your heart. I think to remain with the American guy after cheating on him would be very wrong. Although you can’t really call it cheating if you never had a sexual relationship with him. I can understand your fear if you have to start paying for yourself, but that is no reason to stay with that guy simply because he pays for everything, that would be wrong too. I think you need to take a long look at what you really want and then go for it. You may end up poor but at least you will be happy. To me it sounds as though your relationship with this American guy is one of convenience and not truly love. I think if he truly loved you he would want to commit to you by having a fulfilling sexual realtionship with you. Perhaps he was what one calls "On the rebound", seeing you had lost your Polish friend. I think perhaps if you were to go with the Texas guy and explain to your American guy it might be easier on everyone. The truth is sometimes hard, but it is better than sneaking behind this guy’s back. Someone will get hurt that’s for sure. Communication in any relationship is the most important thing. Perhaps you should sit down with the American guy and pour your heart out to him about how you feel. At least this way it will clear the air. I hope everything goes well for you..Ciao.
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i think you should be single for a long while mate,or just play the field but not date anyone while doing so.
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You are a parasite – the lowest form of life.
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cheater go back to ITALY.
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how do u know whattexan guy ment by his words they ar his words dont twist them to get the answer you want. american guy deserves better than you leave him alone. im sorry but im just being honestyou are doing the dirty and trying to gain sympathy for it andplaying the victim. stop it now because u are hurting people and i hopeit comes back to you. maybe youu will get deported and ever see either again because that is what i think u deserve for what you are doing.
and also yes i agree with LillyB you are a parasite!
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