should i stay or should i go?
Feb 20th, 2010 by admin
Hi i need a little guidance and some opinions on my situation…
i have been with my boyfriend for 6 years now..when we met he was a uni…i was working and looking after my daughter so was mainly paying for most things as he didnt earn much…due to personnal reason he dropped ut of uni for awhile and worked for abit here and there…..as the years have gone on he has decided that he wants to go back to uni and finish what he started..he now doesnt work and hasnt for awhile..and he has not started uni yet either..all he keeps saying is he is waiting for financial assistance before he can do anything…i pay for rent,gas,electric,water food..basically everything!! dont get me wrong he does help out round the houese…he will put a load of washing on etc.. i have started to fell different towards him over the past year..my sex drive has gone..althoug i still put out..just to keep him happy…i cook for him everyday…we do NOTHING together as he is always broke.i do the little thing like still bring him breakfast in bed…he has bought me flowers twice since been together..well one rose for valentines and a bunch i asked for!!! i think the little things mean alot….im not tight so if we do do anything i will pay…he sometimes says its annoying him being broke..and when i suggest maybe a saturday job or something he comes up with every excuse under the sun…and i am now getting really pisses off..i wake every morning at 7 to get my daughter up..whilst he is still snoring..drop her to school and go to work..whilst he stillis snoring.. he will get up at around 11 and frist thing he will do is put tv on..and normally stays there until bed time!! he does not live in my area so often i will drop him home and pick him up…with regards to our love life he is constantly grabbing me or will shove his hand down my top which piss’s me off now..as i feel like abit of meat…and on the rare occassions when i dont feel in the mood..he will then continue to ask why i fell asleep which is stressing me out..coz now i feel like right have sex then i can go sleep with no questions..i feel stressed frustated andthat im being taken for a mug..6 years is a long time…and it scaes me to think of me ending it..but i dunno what to do!! i just want your opinions and if you was me what you would do…
dont waste my time with stupid immature comments!!
when i say he live in diff place…its 2o mins down the road and he stays with me for like 5 days in a row..eats out all my food etc…then buggers back to where his family are for a couple of days then comes back again for another few day!! he smokes weed aswell which i have asked him to stop..but has not.
my daughter is 7 years old.
I know you are scared to end this relationship but you need to talk to him. You need to tell exactly what you have told us. And honey, as long as you continue to give him breakfast in bed, cook for him, and have sex with him he will not move a muscle to change.Why should he? He has everything that he needs. He needs to know that putting a load of washing on is not going to put food on the table.
I need to be honest with you and I’m sure you are not going to want to agree with me but at least I am being honest. Your boyfriend has become very lazy and he’s very happy being at home doing nothing. For him not to find work on the weekends should be telling you that he has no intention of looking for work. And if he had to wait until he gets financial assistance before he goes to the university then he should have kept his job. And there is no guarantee that he is going to get financial assistance. Your boyfriend is depending on you to serve his needs on hands and foot and doesn’t care about how you feel about it.
You need to not ask him anything. But need to tell him how it’s going to be from now on. You need to be firm with him and you need to tell him if he doesn’t pull his weight then he’s out of your life. You also need to tell him that if he is not happy then the door is there. If you don’t show him that you mean business then he will find all kinds of excuses and he will try to win your trust in him. Right now he cannot be trusted because he’s depending on you for everything. And you need to make it clear to him that it’s at the point where it’s affecting your relationship with him. You have been with this man for 6 years and if he doesn’t smarten up then he needs to know that you will not tolerant him for another 6 years. If your boyfriend plans on using you this way while he waits to go to the university or while he’s in the university then you need to tell him that it’s time to wake up and smell the coffee. And you need to stop making breakfast, cooking and giving him sex until he can prove to you that he not using you.
If you don’t stand on your own two feet then he will not change. And in the long run you will get to hate him. Ask him if he is going to piss you off until you start to hate him. You should not be afraid to talk to him. And you should not be afraid to show how angry you are at him for becoming such a lazy person. He should be ashamed for doing this to you. If this guy really cares for you then you have nothing to lose by telling him how you really feel about him because he won’t leave you. But if he leaves you for this then this will answer your questions about him and where you relationship was at.
Oh man I love that song!
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If you stay there will be trouble
if you go it will be double
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do what you feel is best. if you arent happy, then end it. it doesnt sound like your happy. maybe you should try talking to him about it first. if he doesnt change then bail. hey at least then you can say you tried. if he is holding you down and pulling you back, dont let him. hell just drag you down…trust me i know. and maybe you can help me with my sitch. its really long but i need support…
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AlLjbxXo4BITgvK8UhtysMTsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20091104020852AAW1fqa
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If you really love him its high time you guys talk about it..Dont take hasty decisions just talk to him what u want..Pray before you talk to him..
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u deserve better than him. he sounds like a very lazy guy and he wont change. even if he gets a job he wont keep it for long cos hell know that even if he doesnt work u take care of everything. and he shouldnt treat u like a pice of meat but like a woman.. i mean its obvviously hard for u to end such a long realtionship but u need to go through this for ur own good. and for ur daughter. wut good is it to her to b around such a lazy and non-caring person? u need to break up and move on. a person like u can do so much better. i think ur bf already knows that. good luck
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it is a long time and then longer you leave it the worst it will be. If he hasn’t got a job by now then i will be getting harder for you as you are looking after you daughter. If it was me then i would say if you don’t get a job then im sorry but i cant be with you. They get into a patten and if left to long then they will never change there ways.
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dump him and find another guy.
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He has it good. Why would he get a job or anything. Do you have any girlfriends? Go out with them and see what else is out there. There are plenty of guys out there. The other option is pay for your free loader the rest of your life. I don’t understand why you did that for so long in the first place? You spoiled him. Is he really good looking or what? And even if he is how long did that last?
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This guy sounds like trash to me. I would confront him and if he doesn’t change; get rid of him. He seems to only be weighing you down. Sounds like you work hard, you deserve better.
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In your heart you already know the answer to this. It’s time to leave.
he is totally taking advantage of you and your kind nature. And it has made you dislike him. Don’t stick around and waste time with someone you don’t even like anymore.
His behaviour is unacceptable. He should get a job but has become lazy and ungrateful.
It’s time you ended it and moved on. He doesn’t deserve you at all. 6 years is a long time, but when it’s not working – it’s not working. Get out now.
Good luck. Stay true to yourself and be happy.
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You said you live in different places, so why does he have to pay for your rent? Anyway, dump him and tell him to get a life. How old is your daughter? If your daughter is old enough ask her to get an afterschool, weekend, or summer job so that she can pay for the things that she wants and you won’t have to cut so many costs for her likes anymore. If you can find a man responsible enough who will get a job, go for him instead.
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You know the answer to this question already, or you wouldn’t be asking it.
This man is dragging you down financially and emotionally. It’s time to move on. It will be VERY HARD to do so, because you will have to deal with the emotional pain of breaking up with someone who you are most assuredly very used to by now, and, of course, very attached to.
BUT, THAT PAIN UPON BREAKING UP IS NORMAL.
IT WILL PASS.
And you will move on to a better life.
Being alone sucks for lots of people. But, being WITH SOMEONE who is all the things you said above is much, much worse.
Its time to move along in your life, now.
(One other thing – You never used the word,"love" once in your question. That speaks volumes. It will make it a little easier to leave him. And even if you DO love him, then you need to LOVE YOURSELF more, and break up with this guy now.)
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You should leave him and find some one that makes you feel special because this guy sounds like a bit of a waster or if you really dont want to leave him give him an ultimatum
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It sounds like he has gotten use to being a couch potato. He is using the school for an excuse. I need to tell you, I’m going to college, it only takes 3 to 4 days for the Financial Aid to go through. I would tell him to get a job.
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you need to sit down and tell how your feeling when it comes to sex tell him that you do alot in the day thats why you fall asleep tell him you need more help then ask him to help you out more around the house( i.e cook dinner clean etc) ask him if he would mind taking ur daughter to school for you some days why hes not working or at uni give him time if he dont do anything then i’d say work away yes it will be hard as you still love him but he will neaver change if he thinks your gonna run round looking after him and paying bill’s
good luck
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I know you are scared to end this relationship but you need to talk to him. You need to tell exactly what you have told us. And honey, as long as you continue to give him breakfast in bed, cook for him, and have sex with him he will not move a muscle to change.Why should he? He has everything that he needs. He needs to know that putting a load of washing on is not going to put food on the table.
I need to be honest with you and I’m sure you are not going to want to agree with me but at least I am being honest. Your boyfriend has become very lazy and he’s very happy being at home doing nothing. For him not to find work on the weekends should be telling you that he has no intention of looking for work. And if he had to wait until he gets financial assistance before he goes to the university then he should have kept his job. And there is no guarantee that he is going to get financial assistance. Your boyfriend is depending on you to serve his needs on hands and foot and doesn’t care about how you feel about it.
You need to not ask him anything. But need to tell him how it’s going to be from now on. You need to be firm with him and you need to tell him if he doesn’t pull his weight then he’s out of your life. You also need to tell him that if he is not happy then the door is there. If you don’t show him that you mean business then he will find all kinds of excuses and he will try to win your trust in him. Right now he cannot be trusted because he’s depending on you for everything. And you need to make it clear to him that it’s at the point where it’s affecting your relationship with him. You have been with this man for 6 years and if he doesn’t smarten up then he needs to know that you will not tolerant him for another 6 years. If your boyfriend plans on using you this way while he waits to go to the university or while he’s in the university then you need to tell him that it’s time to wake up and smell the coffee. And you need to stop making breakfast, cooking and giving him sex until he can prove to you that he not using you.
If you don’t stand on your own two feet then he will not change. And in the long run you will get to hate him. Ask him if he is going to piss you off until you start to hate him. You should not be afraid to talk to him. And you should not be afraid to show how angry you are at him for becoming such a lazy person. He should be ashamed for doing this to you. If this guy really cares for you then you have nothing to lose by telling him how you really feel about him because he won’t leave you. But if he leaves you for this then this will answer your questions about him and where you relationship was at.
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One common problem that happens is this. I have been there and done that. You have to figure out what it is first that is destroying your sex drive. If your on medication like birth control or anti-depressants that is something to think about and do research on. Other then that it could just be stress, maybe the kids, really anything that makes your life stressful can do this and lower the libido.
One thing I tried that seemed to work while I was doing it was exercising. I just felt sexier doing it which kind of boosted my libido. However it wasn’t the best solution for me. My friend told me about these herbal enhancers that are made from natural herbs and don’t cause any side effects besides having wild sex. She said it’s the female version of viagra. I had to find out.
I would always have a weak orgasm too (if I had one at all), which after trying this sex enhancer, it boosted them tremendously. I don’t get multiple orgasms but I’ve had plenty since being on these herbs. It’s seriously like the best vibrator ride you’ve ever experienced. These things make me horny all the time, some days I don’t even take them because the urge is just too strong.
Don’t try out single herbs because they don’t do it like the blend of herbs these scientists and researchers pick out. I’ve tried a couple of them by itself and they did crap. The stuff that I’m on is called Hersolution, at the time I saved money on it at herenhancement.com . Make sure you get the 3 month supply that way you fall under the guarantee/return policy if the herbs don’t work for you, you can return them with no questions ask. I bet they will work though and you won’t have any problems. Also if your on medication of any sort, check out the gel because if your like me, you wouldn’t want to swallow any thing that might react with the medications your already on.
Well have a good day and hopefully you solved your problem.
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