Bed and Breakfast Startup

Synopsis: Whispered Secrets
What do you do when you have no idea who is on the good side or the bad? This is the question that is running through Alex Smiths’ head. In the past two days her life has been shaken to the core. Her father isn’t who she thought he was, instead he’s the main Mob Boss for the ENTIRE United States. To make matters worse she watched him kill her mother. Then when she tried to expose him by getting proof and going to the police he finds out and tries to kill her. Luckily it backfires, but instead she kills him. With the police on her tail she tries to run but gets into an accident. Could her life get any worse? It can. She ends up in the Sarah Marcson Memorial Phycriatic Hospital, and is stuck with her weird physic roommate, Desiree. When the FBI come knocking on her door and need her help to expose her fathers organization will she accept?
When saying the truth may get you killed, it’s best to whisper them secretly….

here is the second chapter…..

I wake up the next morning to the blaring of an alarm clock. It’s annoying ring reverberating off the walls. I squinted against the light that was pouring into my room despite the fact that it was the beginning of winter. After turning off the alarm clock and dragging my body into an upright position. I look over towards Desiree’s side of the room. Desiree wasn’t there but in her wake she left a perfectly neat bed. Any other day I would have been happy to be rid of my freakish roommate. But that was the past, not now. Now I wished I had been up earlier so we could talk before heading off in our separate directions. I rushed through my morning routine, throwing on my rise and shine t-shirt from my grandmothers ranch. I barely made it to breakfast in time to grab a muffin, double chocolate chip of course, and hightail it to Dr. Careens office. I passed the main doors on my way . I stopped to glance down at all the happy family reunions happening down there. My heart ached with the realization that I would never be with my family, because they were all dead. I pulled my eyes away from the doors and hurried along to Dr. Careens office. Behind the door I could hear her voice but it was accompanied by two male voices that I had never heard before. I open the door a creak just to take a peak inside when the door makes this horrible sound. I ‘ve been found. I walk into the office and direct myself to my normal seat on the couch.
“Good Morning Dr. Careen,” my voce neutral despite my confusion and suspicion of our new guests.
“Alex, these are-” Just then the doors blew open and in strutted Desiree and her evaluator Eric.
“Sorry we’re late I got stuck in the machine…again.” She explained, gracefully sitting down next to me on the couch.
“I was just going to introduce our guests.” Dr. Careen stood up and motion for the men to have a seat.
“No thank-you ma’am. We prefer to stand.” The men stood shoulder to shoulder perfectly aligned and their feet were exactly a foot apart. Judging by their stance and their shaved heads I would rationally concur that they were part of the military.
“We are Agent Jackson and Agent O’Brien, we’re from the United States Special Ops team called Black Claw.” Agent Jackson explained.
“Okay,” I said hesitantly. “ Why are you here?”
“They’re here because they need our help with a mission that they havent been able to complete. They need us to help them finish the job.” Desiree explained.
“How did you know that Miss?”
“I just had a premonition of it happening, I thought you knew about my gift.”
“We do, but in the file it clearly stated that you need to touch an object to get a premonition.”
“Well obviously the file is wrong. In the future I suggest that you look into your suspect of interest instead of just believing everything you read.” It was apparent from the look on the Agents face that he was not use to being talked to in such a way. Especially not by a fifteen year old girl.
“As I was saying it has come to our attention that your father was David Smith, and that he was murdered by your hand.”
“Yes that’s right but I don’t see how this information is relevant to our mission if we choose to accept it.”
“It has everything to do with your mission.” Agent Jackson replied solemnly.
“You were privy to the fact that your father was an international mob boss, am I correct?”
“Yes.”
“We need you both to go in and take this organization down from the inside. The agency has sent the best of the best and every time our plans failed. We want you to pose as yourself but to pretend that you want revenge for your fathers murder.”
“So what else do we get out of this arrangement?” Desiree asked bluntly.
“Besides the United States gratitude, and the fact that Alex’s’ mothers death wouldn’t go unpunished.” He said this as a statement rather than a question.
“Yeah, what else?” Desiree and I said unison.
“We’re looking for two junior operatives for our special op’s team

It’s a good story idea, I like it, but it’s never about whether or not it’s "sellable." If the readers even get the hint that all you’re trying to do is make money, they’ll be completely turned off by all your works.

It’s all about whether or not YOU like it. If you like, then your heart will be in it, and that will make it a fantastic story no matter what. And don’t make the mistake of thinking you’re a one-of-a-kind person, (lol, no offense) and just because you like it doesn’t mean others will. I promise you, lots of other people have the same likes and dislikes as you do, so your opinion is VERY important.